The Quest to Not be Fat Anymore

Posted: May 29, 2011 in depression, healing, weight loss
Tags: , ,

Part I. So here’s the thing: I know I’m not technically *that* overweight, but I am a bit heavier than I should be for my height and build. I’m 5 feet tall (at least that’s what I’m going to continue telling everyone, and myself) and as of right now, I weigh about 135 pounds. The recommended healthy weight for someone my height is between 105 and 115 pounds. As of right now, my body mass index (BMI) is just high enough to put me in the “overweight” category, at about 26.36. Recommended healthy BMI for females is between 18.5 and 24.99. You can check your BMI and read more helpful information here.

Ideally, for my height, I would like to get down to the 105-110 pound range. That should put my BMI at about 20, which is well within the healthy range for my body. I imagine that my reasons for wanting to get down to a healthy weight are much the same as most people’s. I want to feel better about myself, and look better overall, as well as feel better about the way I’m taking care of my body. I haven’t always been very kind to it, and I know that I need to pay more attention to what I put into it. I’ve been putting this off for a long time, because making changes can seem so overwhelming.

Also, I really like food. I love cooking and baking, and I also love eating out. Growing up, healthy eating was never really emphasized, and we were pretty much allowed to have whatever we wanted when there was money for it. There wasn’t always, of course, and so there was a lot of cheap, unhealthy food thrown into the mix as well…SPAM and lots of Macaroni and Cheese come to mind (sometimes together). My dad and grandfather were pretty dramatically overweight, and my mom gained a lot of weight after her pregnancies, so I was exposed to that early on. On the other hand, I also knew a lot of other girls with eating disorders who went the extreme other direction, so especially as a teenager I often felt conflicted between wanting to eat whatever I wanted, and on the other hand wanting to starve to be skinny because my friends were doing it. I don’t advocate either.

I packed on a lot of weight after I finished college because I became less active. One thing about living in Seattle was that I walked everywhere, and that kept my weight at a pretty stable 115 – 120 pounds for most of college. When I moved to Eastern Washington, I hit the double whammy of being depressed, driving everywhere, and on top of that working in a little diner with delicious but greasy food. By the time I got serious about doing something about my weight two years ago, I was up to the heaviest I had ever been, almost 150 pounds. I started Weight Watchers in January of 2009 and lost a decent amount of weight. At one point, the combination of being very strict about what I was eating and working out up to 4 hours a day doing yoga, pilates, kick boxing, ballet and spinning helped me get down to 120 pounds.

Then life intervened. School got more difficult, I didn’t have very much time for exercise, and after more than a year of depriving myself of the foods I loved, I was headed for a meltdown. Things got more intense with my family, my grandmother died, and I hit a low point where food was a big source of comfort. I packed 15 pounds back on, and that’s where I’m at right now. The only thing more frustrating than trying to lose weight is having to lose weight you’ve already lost once.

But I have added motivation now. The band is a major source of that. I want to look good on stage, and of course that will be a major source of confidence. I also want to feel better for me, after spending so many years being anxious and depressed and down on myself. Instead of major dramatic extremes, I’m trying to make better, more balanced decisions about what I eat and work in short bouts of exercise. A couple of months ago I bought a Bowflex Treadclimber TC3000, and I love the workout I get from using it. It’s low impact on my joints, but very effective.

I’m trying to make it easier on myself to eat healthy by preparing on the weekends for the week ahead. Today I prepped salad fixings for the week: lettuce, peas, kidney beans, baby corn, mushrooms, beets, hard boiled eggs, and imitation crab. I have no problem eating the same thing several days in a row, so this system works out pretty well for me. This is what roughly 4 lunches or dinners will look like this week:

Salad with lettuce, beets, peas, tomato, baby corn, hard boiled egg, mushrooms, kidney beans, and imitation crab, topped with low-fat ranch dressing.

In other news, I figured it would be good to have a starting point for my weight loss this time. I wish I had taken before and after pictures as I made progress two years ago when I was losing weight regularly, because I think it can be great motivation for keeping up with the healthy decision making. So here you have it – me at this starting point:

Day 1 of the Quest to Not be Fat Anymore...

5’0, 135 pounds, and ready to make some healthy changes…

  1. Slim Em says:

    Good luck with your weight loss!!

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