Sometimes…Life Just Sucks

Posted: March 11, 2011 in disappointment

So…I’ll get around to posting more of the details surrounding the past/present/future brouhaha with my department, but suffice it to say that it’s been the week from hell. It started with rejection from the Avon competition (expected) and from some jobs I applied for (also expected) and some drama/bitchy emails from my soon to be former adviser about some summer projects (dreaded, but expected). Even though I was mostly prepared for these things, they’ve still hindered my ability to take deep breaths and keep functioning.

I finally have the go ahead to change my dissertation committee and drop my current chair, who has been absolutely non-communicative since last May. It’s a huge relief and I’m excited to work with the new members of my committee. At the same time, it means I have to get ready for the nuclear warfare that is about to happen when I tell my current adviser that he’s been officially given the boot. There is no way to go about that process that will make it suck any less. There’s no way I can prepare myself enough to not be hurt by his reaction.

The one thing I can do differently is take better care of myself. Gaining and then losing and then gaining back and now trying to lose it again has been extremely frustrating, but I’m learning how to work little changes into an overall lifestyle transition. I’m eating healthier, reducing portion sizes, trying to avoid mindless snacking, and taking the stairs (sometimes). I signed up for yoga classes again after a hiatus since last summer and I’m trying to actually use my treadclimber consistently instead of just thinking about it. I’m picking my skin more than I would like to be, but mostly less than I expect that I would be under the circumstances, especially since I’m still taking a drastically reduced dose of Effexor (37.5 mg a day). I guess more than anything it’s just been one of those weeks that reminds me both of all the work I’ve done, and the work I still have left to do.

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