Playing Parent, Part….I’ve Lost Count.

Posted: February 21, 2011 in active neglect, childhood, hoarding, Uncategorized

My parents are on their way to California right now to see about selling the property. There are multiple problems with this plan, because there are multiple heirs involved, and there’s a conservation/development easement on the property which legally bars it from being sold in pieces. Not all the heirs want to sell, and everyone has to agree, so there’s really no way that this is going to work…instead of letting the lawyers do their thing and deal with the situation though, my parents are content to give me a bad time for not “supporting” their decision.

It’s not that I don’t support their decision…it’s just that I’m realistic. I think the following exchange with my mom demonstrates how twisted my parents’ view of reality has gotten lately. [Side note: my parents’ cat just died. Not only was the cat insane (quite possibly the strangest cat I’ve ever encountered…) but they also never cleaned up after it. While my mom was in the hospital after her aneurysm I cleaned their house, and found a chair that the cat had pooped on…they threw a blanket over it and continued to use it like nothing was wrong…]

Mom: “We’re leaving Sunday for California. Meeting with a buyer for the ranch.”

Me: “Did everyone agree to sell?”

Mom: “No. They just keep making problems. I miss the cat.”

Me: “We can get you a new pet. How are you going to sell if not everyone agrees on this? You can’t parcel it out, so I don’t understand how you can negotiate a sale…”

Mom: “Dad owns one quarter. They need to sell. I’m not ready for a new pet.”

Me: “Okay. Probably easier for you to keep the house cleaner without a pet. I guess you know how I feel about it.”

Mom: “Oh thanks. Just once I wish someone cared how I feel about all this.”

Me: “What would you like me to do about it? I can’t make them sell…”

Mom: “I have always been interested in what you think!”

Me: “I just don’t understand the logic here because you can’t parcel the ranch out…It has to sell as one piece.”

Mom: “Our lawyers think we’re handling things correctly.”

Me: “That’s good, but I still don’t get it…”

Mom: “Never mind.”

So…now I’m the bad guy for…what, pointing out the facts? It scares me that my parents could be selling this property on some level, because that can’t manage money, and I have no doubt they’ll burn through it long before they should. And probably still not pay for garbage service or repairs on the house in the meantime.

…and let things like this happen:

Pretty sure there's supposed to be a floor there...but yeah...that outlet is totally safe for use.

…or this… widows....check, check, check, and check.

…or this…

The living room...where supposedly we spent "quality time" together...

As a final note, I recently sent Mom a message letting her know that I mentioned the hoarding on my Avon Voices video submission page. I told her not to get upset that it says that the house I grew up in was so full of dirt and clutter that I sometimes didn’t feel like there was any room left for me, or for healthy, supportive relationships. She sent me a message back that said “I couldn’t get the video to load. I will take your word that it is good. Also, sometimes it’s better just to tell the truth.”

…I’m curious to know exactly what she thinks the “truth” is based on the pictures…


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